Monkey Rocker

This masterpiece surprised all of us! Strap your favourite dildo or vibrator into the frame, and ride 'em cowboy. You control the speed of penetration by rocking back and forth. Expensive, but top-notch quality.

Obviously, you deserve all the pleasure you can get. But human partners can sometimes let you down. If you find yourself wishing your lover or lovers were more dependable or more available, may we suggest one that will get you off anytime, every time.

Monkey Rocker™ is one of the best innovations in self-pleasuring since the vibrator. It's a rocking seat with a special pivoting thrust arm assembly which holds and thrusts a wide variety of sex toys.

Though it can't hug you back, or cuddle, it's perfectly understandable for you to develop feelings for your Monkey Rocker.™ After all, from the moment you remove it from the unmarked box it arrives in, your Monkey Rocker™ is ready and eager to please you. Just attach the handle assembly and your favorite dildo, and it's ready to play.

In fact, with no motors to plug in or breakdown, your Monkey Rocker™ is always ready to play. You and your fantasies are in complete control. Monkey Rocker™ relies entirely on your movement to do all of its thrusting. You set the pace. Quick short strokes, long and deep, or anything in between. It's all about you. No guilt, no risk, no one's getting hurt.

This is going to be one relationship with NO learning curve. With its wide, stable base, and smooth gliding movement, you're going to feel right at home from the first time you climb on. Settle in, grab the handle if you want, then grab yourself or your magic wand or a nearby human partner, anything you have in mind, Monkey Rocker™ is ready to deliver. YOU can scream if you like, but Monkey Rocker™ won't make a sound. If you can keep YOUR sound level down, total privacy is yours.

And when you're done, you're done. That's it. Your Monkey Rocker™ doesn't have any expectations. Your Monkey Rocker™ will never berate you for taking too long, coming too soon, leaving suddenly, staying out all night, talking too much, drinking too much or seeing other machines. And no matter how big or small it is, your Monkey Rocker™ loves your ass. Back it on up. Bring it on. You never have to wonder what it REALLY thinks of you; your Monkey Rocker™ LOVES you! And is always ready to prove it.

• Lightweight and compact (25 lbs) means it's easy to carry and store
• No electricity or complicated setup
• Completely silent ensuring privacy
• Thrusting controlled entirely by you
• You can easily vary the sensation to bring yourself to orgasm as quickly or slowly as you like
• Perfect for anal play because it's so easy to control. No worry about unwanted pain or health risks

You move. Monkey Rocker™ responds. You'll enjoy the sensation created by the special pivoting thrust arm assembly which securely holds and thrusts a wide variety of sex toys. You're in complete control of the action. Fast or slow, shallow or deep, every little move you make becomes magic.

Whether you're a man or woman, if you enjoy the sensation of sexual penetration, Monkey Rocker™ provides what usually requires a partner, without the inconvenience or risk. And being a machine, it can provide an amount or duration of stimulation that many partners cannot. Since you decide how well endowed it is with your choice of dildo, you can enjoy whatever degree of fullness you prefer.

Your Monkey Rocker™ is smooth, silent, and can be enjoyed almost effortlessly. In fact a light push with a finger tip will get it going. The machine rocks so easily your feet don't even have to touch the floor. Just shifting the position of your body will make it go. The movement is so easy and natural that there is virtually nothing to learn, and all your attention can be focused on your pleasure, not the machine.

If you like variety, Monkey Rocker™ was designed with you in mind. You can face the handle, which feels like being on top facing your partner, or you can face away from the handle, which feels more like doggie style. Some people prefer one or the other, many enjoy both. Some dildos have a bend which can face forward or back. By changing the way you face, and/or the way the dildo faces you can easily create a variety of sensations.

Monkey Rocker™ ships with a removable Vac-U-Lock® plug to attach any Vac-U-Lock® dildo. Also included are small, medium and large rubber O-rings and a strong adjustable strap which when used together, allow mounting of almost any flared base dildo. High quality silicone toys are usually available in a flared base style for use with harnesses. They work great with Monkey Rocker.™

Vac-U-Lock® is a registered trademark of Doc Johnson Enterprises

In an age of fads and increasing disposability, you deserve pleasure and products that last. The money you spend on entertainment is an investment in your happiness. When it comes to return on investment, perhaps nothing beats a good chocolate bar.

But your Monkey Rocker™ comes close. And doesn't vanish every time you enjoy it. We're proud that our machine offers you such strong, basic, lasting goodness. In a chaotic, electronic world where satisfaction is so fleeting, your Monkey Rocker™ is stubbornly simple, absolutely analog, relentlessly satisfying, and made to last.

Most Monkey Rocker™ parts are machined from an engineered wood product called MDF, which stands for Medium Density Fiberboard. MDF has a number of advantages compared to other materials. It's very strong in compression, machines beautifully, is dimensionally stable (compared to natural wood, which is very prone to expanding, contracting and warping), sustainable, and affordable.

We don't use just any MDF either. We use a special MDF called PermaCore. You'll be pleased to know that PermaCore is made from 100% recovered and recycled wood fiber, with at least 25% postindustrial recycled fiber and the balance consisting of recovered waste fiber. PermaCore is the only MDF specifically designed to withstand the rigors of powder coating. Which is how your Monkey Rocker™ is finished.

Powder coating, the same finishing technique that has become a standard in the industrial world for finishing metals is now available for engineered wood. Powder coating is much more environmentally friendly and durable than any conventional painting process. The curvy, sexy look of your Monkey Rocker™ is largely made possible by powder coating and PermaCore. The powder coating process creates a seamless protective layer around every delicious curve.

Monkey Rocker™ ships with the toy attaching methods shown above.

The Monkey™ Rocker does not come with a dildo.

This product can take 2-6 weeks to arrive